Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Safety-Pinned Mind

My mind's been off having adventures. Identity crises, moral ambiguities, confusing arousal, and euphoria and depression chasing each other in circles - and I've just sat back and allowed it do its thing. Usually it returns in time for Top Chef. Composure Coherence, on the other hand, arrives about as often as my freelance cheques and I'm rushing to make good of today's sudden burst...

I've realised only recently that my quest to understand people would be strides simpler if I stop trying to solve them.

The handful of relationships that I cherish have one thing in common. They're all based on the premise of Quality > Quantity. I'm not built for too much familiarity, I don't like knowing every last stitch of anyone's day or recounting mine, for that matter. Unless you can tell it well and the conversation has potential to descend into lots of meta humour, then I'm all ears. Otherwise, let's just talk when we actually have something to say.

I think I enjoy struggle way too much to ever really succeed in the conventional sense. I'm at a professional fork-in-the-road currently and while one path definitively leads to being able to afford poncy hair accessories I don't need, the one I'm on has me under house arrest because I can't afford even coffee without feeling like a shameless wastrel. It's still a tough choice. The writing jobs I enjoy the most are the ones that often push me to tears of inadequacy, the ones that come easy are forgotten almost instantly no matter how well they turn out.
I wish to have it all though even the thought of it bores me intensely.

Stupid trends irritate me so much I feel like punching my screen. This business of saying 'super like!' on Facebook,  SHUT UP, IT'S NOT A THING. Also, this sudden adoration of droopy hipster girls with limp hair wearing oatmeal-exciting fashions. WHERE WAS ALL THIS HYSTERIA WHEN MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL DID IT WAY BACK WHEN? Herd. I spurn you.

I have been feeling quite good about my weight even as I remain the fattest I've ever been. Except for this past week of beer and fries and Easter pastries and Pepsi, I've been pretty good about working out and eating well. I suppose it's freeing to know you've done your bit and it's now out of your hands.

I am diabetically girlie. Lace, florals, ruffles, sequins, pastels, sorbet make-up, aforementioned hair accessories, box clutches, diaphanous everything and I'm sold. I haven't triumphed in any popularity contests because of my love for jeggings either.

Ever since I watched Chashme Buddoor a few weeks ago, I've been mesmerised by Deepti Naval. Forever she's been no more than a clip-on Smita Patil to me but Christ, such beauty and vitality. 90% of the stuff below is from here.

Am I right?
Miss Chamko!
So Thelma & Louise :)

'course she's a poet.


Kavita said...

In addition to 'Super like' I would like to propose that "[insert noun]age happened / shall happen now" be added to the list of things that MUST GO!

When it comes to fashion, apart from agreeing with your view on the oatmeal dressers, you and I shall remain diametrically opposed.

Simrit said...

'Herd. I spurn you.'

I completely whole-heartedly adore you. And how you spurn most everything. Including me.