Tonight I'm thinking about love.
Ever held a live fish? Love feels like that sometimes. Like I only have a slippery hold on it at best. I tried to make a spreadsheet of it, to happen upon it nonchalantly as a flyaway strand of hair, to freewheel with it, to control it like a evil puppet master - all worked and all didn't work.
Studied love is love. Instant love is love. Fleeting love is love. And so is love that endures across many lifetimes. Love is teeth and flesh and filth. Love is silence and awkwardness and adoration. Love is revenge and hurt and self loathing. Love is abandon, recklessness and meticulousness. Love is leeches and five star bathrooms and medieval ruins.
Love will destroy you. Love will resurrect you. And love will make you wish you never lived and then make you wish you could live forever. Today a bandit, tomorrow a sage, Wednesday a gurgling infant, all for love.
I've decided to take the easy way out. I'll stand very very still and let love have its way with me.