Thursday, 7 January 2010

My rebound relationship

I've realised that every time I'm really happy and occupied in my life, I stop updating this blog.
When I'm happy I have this feeling inside me of being very near the edge - a little too much goodness and I could keel over. It's this breathless, excited rush - I'm grinning all the time, letting all those doubts and niggles fall by the wayside. I am much too busy handling that happy explosion to get my thoughts in one line.
And when things fall apart, I come back here, tail between my legs, slightly sheepish and more than willing to spill my woes.
To come to it actually, I write most when I'm feeling badly which inhabits that cliche I've been shrinking away from years - I do not want to feel creative or expressive only when I'm miserable. Because I like writing and if the atmosphere that best brings that from me is maudlin, then I am doomed to be a very, very lonesome unhappy person indeed.
So to that end, the next time I feel euphoric, this blog is going to be my first stop. This is the year for breaking old cycles after all.

3 comments:

Diana said...

Yay! More for us to read!
Have I mentioned Im a fan?
:)

gyurkovics said...

:)

payal.k said...

Hey. I can really relate to this post. Its always a struggle to write when I am happy (and feel really guilty about it) but the ink flows smoothly when I am sad, lonely or feeling crappy :)
Also, its a really nice blog!