I remember these soul-sapping conversations I used to have with this one acquaintend (She was my acquaintance, I was her friend) of mine back in college. And by conversations I mean I would emit a series of 'hmms' at various pitches and different intonations while she would painstakingly drone over every last tedious detail of her life.
There was the one time I ended up lying next to her at a sleepover (Nothing sexual. Though I would have considered it in exchange for her silence) and she had been talking for about 3 hours straight. The others in the room (one tiny mutant and Tata Young's lookalike) excused themselves with a simple "sleepy now, bye" but yours truly, going-to-be-canonised-any-minute-now-wait-for-the-invitation was feeling bad to interrupt her. The all pervading night didn't interrupt her, what chance did I have?
Finally, about an hour later, long after I'd safety-pinned my eye-lids to my forehead to hold them open, she fell silent. I would have screamed 'Hallelujah' except my brain threw in its chips, sat down stubbornly and refused to have a single other thought. This girl had actually talked herself to sleep. The sound of her own voice had lulled her brain into a coma.
So why am I putting you through this agonising anecdote?
To point out that sometimes you can become what you laugh at.
I have become my acquaintend! These days I talk involuntarily. The brain is willing me to recognise the weariness in the listener's face, its saying "Don't say that, DON'T SAY THAT. Dammit you said it! Okay, it's alright, just don't say that next thing! DON'T SAY THA...". The mouth has gone batshit crazy and is swinging recklessly from one topic to the other leaving in its wake a loud resounding "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Tarzan style.
I feel like I'm constantly in one of those badly synced Chinese films. I can say what I want in 2 words but I'm prattling on regardless.
To those who've chosen to endure, remember, death comes eventually.